Me *reading a book*: “MAN, I would hate it if these were my parents!” *pause* “MOTHER!”
Mother: “Yes?”
Me: “COME HERE I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!”
Mother: *comes*
Me: “Thank you for not being like these parents.”
Mother: “Well, I’m glad you don’t think I’m like that. I’ll take that as a Happy Mother’s Day.”
I’ve never been one of those girls who has had her wedding planned since she was five.
I don’t daydream about the dress I will wear, or what flowers will make up my bouquet. I don’t think about the shoes or the veil or the ring. I sometimes think about the cake, but only because I like cake. I don’t picture the chapel, drowning in decorations, or the setting where we’ll spend superfluous hours taking the official photographs.
All these things have always been the farthest from my mind. I don’t know if that makes me less of a girl, or simply abnormal. I’ve never really cared.
So today I decided to start planning my wedding. Not because I suddenly care what other people think, or because I want to be like all the other girls. I’m doing it because I want to try more things — especially the things that are farthest from my mind.
Frankly, my first attempts at it have been nothing but a stab in the dark; I have no clue what I’m doing, and my imagination is drawing a blank. I feel like an idiot. But that’s okay — I will try again tomorrow.
-Star
What? No, of course not.
I wasn’treallystanding there,
Right in front of you.
I didn’t hear all the words you said,
Or watch you walk away.
Without me.
You know what?
Maybe I’ve never been there.
I was always just a ghost,
Passing through moments and memories
I had no right to claim as mine.
When you look back,
You won’t see me.
I won’t be there.
I guess there’s no need to forgive and forget,
Because I’m already forgotten.
A certain teacher I used to have taught me this: If you’re going to do a job, be professional about it. When I was younger, I never really understood why that would be so important. Now? Move it or lose it, pal.
-Star
At the end of every day, I think to myself, “I need to do better.”
Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?
-Star
When your mind feels like there’s a thick cloud hanging around in it, it’s a lot easier to blog. You don’t know what to think or feel or say, and you hope that by typing out whatever comes to mind you can somehow clear your thoughts and figure out a solution to, well… life.
I’ve been thinking of adding some new things in my weekly schedule. Things that take me out of my comfort zone, and away from the standardized form of learning. I know enough facts and figures. What I need is experience.
-Star
